1. |
Bored Again
04:33
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I wish I was home. So I could watch from someone else’s lense,
To decide if I regret not going to the hottest spot in the Bay
And forget time and its awful lies.
I have the news I have always got to share
It’s my dream to have people always care.
Industry calls it the saturation point, trying to keep always on their minds.
But all I want for today.
Is to be bored again. I wanna be bored again. I wanna be bored again. I wanna be bored again.
No pressure, bored again. Fuck ambition, I’m bored again.
Fourth grade-kind of bored again. Let’s do it now, bored again.
I am all kinds of worried.
Could give up if I wanted, but it’s a need to have my weaknesses be known.
But what does that mean for you and I?
I guess sometimes I idolize who I wanna be.
And will he be worth the attention I expect from the general public.
My hair is not the headlines.
But all I want for today.
Is to be bored again. I wanna be bored again. I wanna be bored again. I wanna be bored again.
No pressure, bored again. Fuck ambition, I’m bored again.
Fourth grade-kind of bored again. Let’s do it now, bored again.
If I do nothing don’t have to stall.
Then I can’t mess up, destroy this all.
Not gunna act now cuz you told me to.
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2. |
But Not Me
03:51
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All the light from the sun cannot beam everyone’s worth.
We get at most 20 seconds to learn all of one’s hurt.
It makes them do all they do and we judge when don’t understand.
Hey, don’t be afraid of Me. I’m not like others.
Precious roles who gets you through your sacred moments.
All the souls who blessed you with their open senses.
My loneliness is not your responsibility.
Be a person just be someone with the condition
That you listen, be the one who pays attention.
Especially if you’re gunna give me honesty
Should anyone have the time to hear my thoughts out now.
Hey, don’t give me distance, let me explain this.
All the times I’m half attention. I wonder how I’m supposed to be.
To really make a true connection instead of fleeing to concede.
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3. |
PICA 1
00:38
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4. |
All the Wondering
04:07
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I do what I was told; it’s nothing.
Your body manifests stress that way.
But if I hear out what my body says,
It’s more than what the doctors told me.
Let go of struggle. You’re too young to have anything wrong.
But the stings ask me what if I’m in that small percentage.
Everytime I’m close it goes away again.
With another solid dose of the medicine.
I can’t rest without knowing why there’s pain.
But I know inside it might just be all of the wondering.
The worry, justified or silly, doesn’t just go away by ignoring it.
So take the test, do what is best. It’s the only way out of this stress.
Everytime I’m close it goes away again.
With another solid dose of the medicine.
I can’t rest without knowing why there’s pain.
But I know inside it might just be all of the wondering.
Everything will be just fine even if it ain’t gonna get better.
But all the answers that cross my mind are less optimistic.
All you say is a rule.
Now you say come find you.
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5. |
Promise to the Anonymous
03:39
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Used to think I’d save myself
Even though she wouldn’t wait
Kept persisting down that path
Til I thought known one’d have me
My anonymous promise was an excuse
She’d be with anyone here but me
Turned me into a bitter boy
But it all falls apart when you’ll do everything but sex
You’re in the same court as the soakers and the shamed
Let’s give it up for
The sad reason for the beliefs unfound.
Used to try the non-believers
Even gave a speech in my speech class.
I think I cared more about
Being different than being chaste.
A year and a half of college
No longer saw a reason to wait
Gave myself away that day.
And I didn’t fall apart
Just knew everything was clean.
Let’s give it up for
Not needing a reason
For the beliefs unfound.
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6. |
PICA 2
00:27
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7. |
Never Gave Back
02:57
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I never gave back and showed you how to write.
I never gave back and showed you how to set it aside.
I never gave back and told you you don’t know how to lie.
But the west never talks about the east.
And you never ask me to act favorably.
I never made up.
I always caught you in distress when the fault was mine.
Like a bad stomach ache I thought it’d be better if I didn’t speak.
We go to bed; you touch my hand and I think it’s all going to be fine.
But it’s only as cold as your thickest suit.
And you don’t see how I’ll ever defend you.
You never gave up and I appreciate that, honestly.
My temperature’s rising and that’s how I know I am in envy.
Of all of the love and attention that you gave me.
That all this is mine, and I won’t equalize, no
So I’ll thank you for it.
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8. |
PICA 3
00:46
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9. |
Won't Sit Down
03:46
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And I won’t sit down.
And I won’t sit down.
No I won’t sit down.
And I won’t sit down.
At the point of moribund but everything my head wants is go, go, go.
Even with the hidden costs I spend my energy like I make two million.
If time is love then love is not infinite.
With every minute I work I feel each person slip away.
Something could come from nothing but it doesn’t seem like it.
My fear of failure comes when I look and it’s 12 again. But I won’t slow down.
But I won’t slow down.
No I won’t slow down.
And I won’t slow down.
Made you feel like a mistake.
Gave you the time it takes me to clear my dinner plate.
I may still be inside, but I need my time, will have to leave you behind.
I’m getting boring with this shameless repeating.
I don’t know when to stop, and I’m horrible at leaving.
I want to read a book, forget about booking.
I’d love to walk with you but I’m always moving.
And I wanna sit down.
Inside my dark well with no light hanging overhead.
Down inside is my only devoted friend who will always haunt me.
Don’t become his enemy again.
And I won’t sit down.
No I won’t sit down.
Maybe I wanna sit down.
But I won’t slow down.
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10. |
More
02:00
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I don’t know why you stopped pushing me out the door.
Are you settling or just not wanting more?
I had higher standards
When I thought lesser of myself.
You won’t stop asking me for a better life
But you know I never set you aside.
I’d let you take all my Sundays,
If my weekends were for you too.
I started fighting back when I saw the harm
You’ve done to all the places I could’ve gone.
The life I never lived,
Cuz I said I might have plans.
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11. |
Rust
04:30
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In real life I get shut out, over time I gravitate to what I control.
No sins, no consequence, but sound and scenery,
and don’t worry they’re working on the feeling thing.
This dark warm cage. I’ll exist in a timeless place.
It’s the light I can live without for hours a day.
Leave me to rust. I’ll be the judge.
The screen’s dealing color sex; it doesn’t even compare.
It’s all I want. He/she’s just one.
Try it, I know you’ll say it blows it all away.
Go to the bathroom. Look who’s still here.
I’d rather be a floating head with appendages.
That’s always the message. My body’s a waste.
In a sea of ambitions, why should I ever lose my place?
The grieving stage is shorter than the acknowledgment phase.
It’s not a lie if I live it out in my own way.
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12. |
Rust
04:30
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In real life I get shut out, over time I gravitate to what I control.
No sins, no consequence, but sound and scenery,
and don’t worry they’re working on the feeling thing.
This dark warm cage. I’ll exist in a timeless place.
It’s the light I can live without for hours a day.
Leave me to rust. I’ll be the judge.
The screen’s dealing color sex; it doesn’t even compare.
It’s all I want. He/she’s just one.
Try it, I know you’ll say it blows it all away.
Go to the bathroom. Look who’s still here.
I’d rather be a floating head with appendages.
That’s always the message. My body’s a waste.
In a sea of ambitions, why should I ever lose my place?
The grieving stage is shorter than the acknowledgment phase.
It’s not a lie if I live it out in my own way.
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Jordan Esker & The Hundred Percent Tampa, Florida
INDIE/SOUL
FOLK/ROCK
GOSPEL/EMO
for booking/sync/placements etc,
contact jordanesker@gmail.com
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